Love, all of us

The family safe word

The FBI advises families to create a secret word or phrase, because AI can now imitate a voice. It takes ten minutes, and the best time is when everyone is at the same table.

An older hand and a younger hand together on a kitchen table beside two mugs of coffee
Image made with AI.

How to set it up

  1. Choose it together, in person or on a call. Not by text or email, where it can be found later.
  2. Pick something odd. Not a pet, a street, a birthday or anything else on Facebook. A family joke is ideal.
  3. Agree on the rule. Anyone calling in trouble and asking for money has to give the word. No word, no money, whoever it sounds like.
  4. Decide who knows. Everyone who might call, and everyone who might get the call, including the grandkids.
  5. Practice once. Call each other and ask for it. It should feel normal to ask.
  6. Change it if it's ever used, or if it's said in front of someone it shouldn't be.

If the call comes

  1. Ask for the word.
  2. If they don't know it, or they say there's no time, hang up.
  3. Call the person on the number you already have. The FTC says to call another relative too, even if you were told to keep it secret.

Need an idea?

Your own family joke is better than anything we can make up, as long as it isn't on Facebook. If you're stuck, try this. It's picked on your device, and we never see it.

A message to send the family

Can we talk about something on Sunday? Scammers can copy a voice now, so I'd like our family to have a word that only we know. If anyone ever calls in trouble, we ask for the word. Let's choose it in person or on a call, and not write it in a text.

Then put it on the fridge

The Fridge Card says who to call before sending money. It says “ask for our family word”, but not the word itself, so it's safe where visitors can see it.

This is general information to help a family think things through. It isn't medical, legal, financial or insurance advice, and it can't judge your parent's situation. Read the disclaimer.

Where this comes from

Last checked October 30, 2026. Found something wrong? Tell us.

One email, on Sundays.

A short story, one thing you can use, and one fact with its source.